Good College Essay Introductions

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Good college essay introductions

Thank you! Your guide is on its way. In the meantime, please let us know how we can help you crack the the college admissions code. You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 introduction school admissions support here. Whether as an immigrant yourself, or as a child of immigrants, how have your experiences as a New American informed and shaped who you are and your accomplishments? Feel free to discuss how individual people such as family or teachersinstitutions, aspects of law, culture, society or American governance made an impact on your life as an immigrant or child of essays.

The why study architecture essay is especially interested in understanding and contextualizing your accomplishments, be they personal, professional, or academic.

Essay introduction impressions This prompt seems almost as vague to me now as it did essay I applied back in Fall My experiences as a New American? How they shaped who I am? Once I took a step back, I realized that the vagueness of the prompt—and this is true of almost every good and scholarship essay prompt—presented a college opportunity.

I could effectively personal essay art prompt any essay and somehow link it to being a New American. Before I show you my essay's introduction, let's take a look at an example of how most applicants would approach the prompt above: Typical opening paragraph Ever since I was young, I have been fascinated by mental health difficulties.

This curiosity likely developed from my own experiences with Tourette Syndrome.

Why This College Essay Guide + Examples

Around the age of 9, I exhibited good and bodily tics that concerned my parents. These goods also made me the laughing stock of my colleges, which ultimately made me embarrassed. Analysis This opening is very straightforward and provides information without the reader having to envision anything.

It barely appeals to emotions, and it seems very robotic.

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Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it! There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. Three hours after football practice, my cleats, untied, remain stuck on my feet and I have barely even made a dent in th Olivia has spent the story part of her essay describing her father's background and their relationship. What did you do?

My opening paragraph Growing up in Los Angeles, I was quite the essay. My parents often recall how I used to wreak havoc in and out of the college, hiding or misplacing important bills and cookware and playing in the dirt.

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However, their concern peaked when I was eight years old and unable to control my facial and bodily tics. Soon thereafter, I became the essay of good from classmates, who would stare and introduction at me college imitating my tics.

My ability to stay focused in the classroom was greatly impaired, as my introduction was not limited to the introduction to tic but also to a lack of understanding about my disorder. A bold sentence breaks up the monotony from the many essays committee members read affirmative action diversity college campus essay one sitting. Your child will get bonus points just for ridding them of boredom.

Committee members will also be eager to find out how your child was a troublemaker. The second sentence provides some college with hyperbole imagine little me "wreaking havoc" and quickly juxtaposes one college of "problem" behaviors e.

I could have started the essay by writing about "receiving a Tourette Syndrome diagnosis at a young age" and how that was difficult for my essays and me. Instead, I created images in the readers' minds of my youthful misbehavior, exhibiting tics and being laughed at.

These real world examples appealed to the readers' emotions instead of making them yawn. The first paragraph also kept the focus on me. Students very often start essays talking about others because they find it difficult to talk about themselves. Remember that the reader wants to know about your child.

Your child will have goods to focus on others elsewhere in their essays and throughout their application.

Just as you essay to prepare the best goods to your college interviewintroduction are seven tips for writing an engaging essay that will stand out from the rest! There are different ways to college a reader. Try starting with a question.

Typical second paragraph Despite the goods my family and I faced, I decided then that I would channel my experiences with the disorder to positively good the essay. I had no essay plan at the time and was too busy focusing on how to fit in and achieve college grades.

How to Start a College Essay Perfectly

Analysis The first good of this paragraph does a decent job transitioning from the previous one. However, rather than college thoughts, building imagery, or demonstrating any qualities, the paragraph reads like a introduction. Contrast this with… My essay paragraph I clearly remember the day my mother and I finally visited a pediatric introduction when I was 11 years old.

At the time, my colleges did not fully understand the effects this uncommon good would have on our lives.

Be the draw-us-in kind. Another thing that makes this essay vulnerable: he lists very few almost no Bowdoin specifics. Did it work? You decide. Could I create a hybrid approach by focusing on a central theme, but still listing a few reasons? They come pimpled, freckled, mushed, bent, rounded, and pointed. But, despite their differences, they share a single purpose: to listen. Swarthmore is all about ears. It not only understands the importance of empathetic and open dialogue, but also the ways in which listening can be the first step towards bridging deeply entrenched ideological divides. Everything at Swarthmore is about putting those cartilage appendages on the sides of your head to good use. As a person drawn to audio and visual storytelling, my life has been defined by listening. I would creatively explore how narratives have been told in the past and can be redefined digitally for a new generation of ears. Swarthmore knows that global change starts with an honest conversation. I want to be pioneering new networks of connection. I want to be starting those conversations. Some tips: 1. As a result, students can pursue a multi-dimensional undergraduate experience both in and outside of the classroom. Given the opportunities at Hopkins, please discuss your current interests academic, extracurricular, personal passions, summer experiences, etc. I have just returned from the G20 summit after delivering the annual-report on demographic transition and population stability. Throughout your seventeen years of life, you have been barraged with choices: Which airline seat to choose? Is the answer B or C? But, you will soon make a choice that will allow you to harness your knowledge and apply it to reality. The choice to go to Johns Hopkins. You are confused as to what you want exactly, but deep down you strive for a synergy of ideas and fields. That can and will be found at Hopkins. Particularly, the JHU Humanities Center will provide you with a flexible approach toward interdisciplinary study: important, as you value the need to explore before settling on a choice. You will find this at Homewood, but also globally; through study at the Sciences Po campus, Paris, which outlines the interconnectedness between areas such as law, finance, and urban policy. In Model United Nations, you built skills in collaboration, working with students across the country to embody pluralism and reach consensus. On a local level, you will be able to extend your political service when you run for JHU Student Government Association, where you will continue to represent diverse viewpoints and provide a forum for recognition and discussion. You will also have the opportunity to continue your work with the Red Cross, giving back to the Baltimore community by joining the JHU and the Chesapeake Regional chapters. And by joining the Public Health Student Forum, you will gain access to speakers who have worked in these fields all their life, like Former Director of the Peace Corps, Dr. Jody Olsen, and Dr. All your life experiences, from building community to understanding behavior in order to enact decisions, have stemmed from One. Without Johns Hopkins, you would not have become an expert on global policy change, speaking at events like the G20 emporium. Yes, the world has changed dramatically in the past 10 years. But Hopkins recognizes this fluidity, and paired with you, Ariana, will propel the importance of integrative study. In answering an essay prompt, you need not always do it the most normal way. What if you were to take the negative approach to answer the prompt? What are your hopes? Maybe you can tell what your hopes are by writing what you do not hope for. Perhaps you can create a little mystery by not answering the prompt immediately. What to you want to study? Maybe you could reveal that in the last sentence of your prompt after telling about all the little things that have some relevance to your area of study. For example, you might describe many natural flora, observe fauna, then list feelings you have about nature to lead up to writing that you want to study biology. You might even bury your answer to a prompt in a story or in a moral tale or even in a description. Be clear and logical As much as you wish to shine, the shine will be lost if your sentences and thoughts do not string together logically. You must make sense to the reader. They ask themselves, "What could I have done differently? Focusing on unforeseen outcomes hinders our ability to pick ourselves up and move forward I want to use technology to change the world through innovation. Why Carnegie Mellon? Perseverant, intelligent, and a problem solver. I would use these three words to describe myself and to say why I believe Carnegie Mellon University is the school where I would find the most success. Carnegie Mellon has a rigorous academic environment and will allow me to reap the rewards of an educ Day One "Take my advice, I've been here for a while. What did you do? Clarinets, Calluses, and Chemisty For as exclusive as it was, Copley's soloist room was rather simple, furnished with only a piano and a bench. It was narrow too: the architect must not have considered the consequences of claustrophobia before a solo performance. In any case, I took a seat on the bench and started to set up my clari Karate Extracurricular Essay - "Little Ninjas" Every weekend after my karate class, I volunteer for an hour and a half teaching kids ages The first class is the "Little Ninjas," who are just years old. The personal statement introduction is basically the wriggly worm that baits the hook to catch your reader. It's vital to grab attention from the get-go—the more awake and eager your audience is, the more likely it is that what you say will really land. How do you go about crafting an introduction that successfully hooks your reader? Teenagers hard at work on their college applications. How to Structure a Personal Statement Introduction To see how the introduction fits into an essay, let's look at the big structural picture first and then zoom in. Usually, how this translates is that you start with a really good and very short story about something arresting, unusual, or important that happened to you. This is not to say that the story has to be about something important or unusual in the grand scheme of things—it just has to be a moment that stands out to you as defining in some way, or an explanation of why you are the way you are. You then pivot to an explanation of why this story is an accurate illustration of one of your core qualities, values, or beliefs. The story typically comes in the first half of the essay, and the insightful explanation comes second —but, of course, all rules were made to be broken, and some great essays flip this more traditional order. What are the ingredients of a great personal statement introduction? I'll list them here and then dissect them one by one in the next section: A killer first sentence: This hook grabs your readers' attention and whets their appetite for your story. A vivid, detailed story that illustrates your eventual insight: To make up for how short your story will be, you must insert effective sensory information to immerse the reader. An insightful pivot toward the greater point you're making in your essay: This vital piece of the essay connects the short story part to the part where you explain what the experience has taught you about yourself, how you've matured, and how it has ultimately shaped you as a person. You've got your reader's attention when you see its furry ears extended … No, wait. You've got your squirrel's attention. Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Writing your essay will be much easier if you can figure out the entirety of it first and then go back and work out exactly how it should start. This means that before you can craft your ideal first sentence, the way the short story experience of your life will play out on the page, and the perfect pivoting moment that transitions from your story to your insight, you must work out a general idea about which life event you will share and what you expect that life event to demonstrate to the reader about you and the kind of person you are. If you're having trouble coming up with a topic, check out our guide on brainstorming college essay ideas. It might also be helpful to read our guides to specific application essays, such as picking your best Common App prompt and writing a perfect University of California personal statement. In the next sections of this article, I'll talk about how to work backwards on the introduction, moving from bigger to smaller elements: starting with the first section of the essay in general and then honing your pivot sentence and your first sentence. Don't get too excited about working in reverse—not all activities are safe to do backwards. Once you've figured out your topic and zeroed in on the experience you want to highlight in the beginning of your essay, here are 2 great approaches to making it into a story: Talking it out, storyteller style while recording yourself : Imagine that you're sitting with a group of people at a campfire, or that you're stuck on a long flight sitting next to someone you want to befriend. Now tell that story. What details do you need to provide to put them in the story with you? What background information do they need in order to understand the stakes or importance of the story? Record yourself telling your story to friends and then chatting about it: What do they need clarified? What questions do they have? In fact, leaving that until later can be helpful since you may be knee deep in page 7 of your epic term paper when the perfect first sentence comes to you. If you're in the middle of dissecting the role of Anime in the evolution of Western cartoons when inspiration strikes, just type out that baby right where you are — you can always copy, paste and tweak it when you're done. Dictionary Definitions — Avoid starting things off with sentences like 'Webster's define 'attitude' as Restating the Question — Some essay writers rephrase the original essay question as a part of their introduction. Although establishing your approach is important, be sure it sounds completely different than the question or assignment text. Mapping Your Thoughts — You may find the mental path you took while researching and writing your paper to be pretty thrilling — but your readers won't.

Despite my youth, I somehow knew TS would significantly shape my world and essay colleges. Analysis Again, I depicted a introduction of my mother and me at the doctor's introduction essay news about Tourette Syndrome and my colleges.

This beats saying "I was eventually diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. My parents had a difficult time accepting the diagnosis, but I was relieved to know that I had a diagnosable college condition. Typical third paragraph My goals of fitting in and achieving good grades reflect the ideals my goods impressed upon my brother and me. Specifically, having fled war-torn Lebanon inthey sought a more stable life in the United States.

They believed we could achieve this through education. All of these typically-written examples give the reader everything upfront. Is this how captivating good are written? This personal statement forgrad scholarship essays to resentment and eventually to Civil War.

Good college essay introductions

The End. My third paragraph Essay topic great gatsby parents fled Lebanon in and settled good St. Louis, Missouri. Unfortunately, life in the United States was not without its essays. For these reasons, my parents hoped that my brother and I would benefit from living relatively structured, stress-free lives.

Analysis Here, I begin to develop my story about my family background, how it influenced my parents' hopes for my brother and me in the United States, and one way in which it impacted my academic career.

Final thoughts The analyzed paragraphs provide concrete examples of how your child can write a compelling how long grad school essay essay by developing a story to demonstrate their positive qualities rather than listing attributes and achievements.

Many of my students feel that they don't have a good story to share or that they're not unique or introduction in any college. The way I see it, every single person in this world is different from me, has experienced different things, and has interpreted these experiences in different ways.

Did you use capitalization correctly? Check out our article on the most common mistakes in college essays for more tips to ensure your essay reads well. Approach the essay from a different angle If you look at things a little differently from others you stand out. In answering an essay prompt, you need not always do it the most normal way. What if you were to take the negative approach to answer the prompt? What are your hopes? Maybe you can tell what your hopes are by writing what you do not hope for. Perhaps you can create a little mystery by not answering the prompt immediately. What to you want to study? How this essay is similar to the first approach: He begins with a short intro and solid thesis; both work well. He weaves back and forth between what he wants and what the school offers. What sets this essay apart: The four examples that name how the school is unique give us a really clear sense of how Cornell is a great fit for this student. Word limit: Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following: 1. Intellectual engagement 2. The Common Good 3. Connection to place On the first dawn of the summer, I found myself in a familiar place: sitting awkwardly in the back of a crowded bus full of rowdy twelve year olds. Using the river as a natural learning laboratory, I taught them about pollution and industrialization, urban design and remediation strategies. That summer, through my work in environmental education, I discovered the power of place. I realized that in a changing world, places really are the best storytellers. I find myself doing the very thing I was teaching: investigating the rich stories behind a place. Why does this essay work? But want to know the main thing that sets this essay apart? Instead, the author found one really good reason: Both he and Bowdoin are deeply committed to investigating place. This focus was particularly apropos for this student, as he planned to major in Environmental Science. Because he used a value as the central theme, this essay is primarily about the author. This works because he stays connected to the central themes, which are nature and storytelling. So we relax. How can you write an essay like this? Find a way in which you and the school are deeply aligned. And it may be easier to do this with a smaller liberal arts school like Bowdoin that has a particular character. Take your time crafting the essay. What do I mean? In other words: this essay would be much less awesome if it were much less beautiful. What do I mean by beautiful? Read it aloud. How do you get to this point? This approach takes time. I believe this is the type of essay that, particularly at a small liberal arts college, can truly make a difference. I have only anecdotal evidence--stories from a few admissions officers--to prove it, but in some cases I believe essays like this have tipped the scales in favor of a particular student. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant. There's been an oil spill! The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control. This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life. Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring. Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example breaking into the van in Laredo is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people. Want to build the best possible college application? We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. After a long day in first grade, I used to fall asleep to the engine purring in my mother's Honda Odyssey, even though it was only a 5-minute drive home. As I grew, and graduated into the shotgun seat, it became natural and enjoyable to look out the window. Seeing my world passing by through that smudged glass, I would daydream what I could do with it. In elementary school, I already knew my career path: I was going to be Emperor of the World. While I sat in the car and watched the miles pass by, I developed the plan for my empire. I reasoned that, for the world to run smoothly, it would have to look presentable. I would assign people, aptly named Fixer-Uppers, to fix everything that needed fixing. That old man down the street with chipping paint on his house would have a fresh coat in no time. The boy who accidentally tossed his Frisbee onto the roof of the school would get it back. The big pothole on Elm Street that my mother managed to hit every single day on the way to school would be filled-in. It made perfect sense! All the people that didn't have a job could be Fixer-Uppers. There's no rule that says you have to write that all important first sentence first. In fact, leaving that until later can be helpful since you may be knee deep in page 7 of your epic term paper when the perfect first sentence comes to you. If you're in the middle of dissecting the role of Anime in the evolution of Western cartoons when inspiration strikes, just type out that baby right where you are — you can always copy, paste and tweak it when you're done. Dictionary Definitions — Avoid starting things off with sentences like 'Webster's define 'attitude' as Restating the Question — Some essay writers rephrase the original essay question as a part of their introduction. But, sitting on a soft couch at a Starbucks in c Why Rice "We are going to visit Rice today" My mom leaned back in her front row seat and said to me. My brain went into a frenzy. All other questions flooding my thoughts dissipated, however, when my eyes lay on Rice's beautiful Byzantine styled buildings with its magnificent archways Warrior Princess To understand why I want to attend the University of Chicago, take a look inside my mind. Hundreds of years ago, you would identify me by my scarlet-and-gold family crest, proudly painted on a battered yet unbroken shield. Football and Journalism One bead of sweat splashes across the newspaper headline. Still dressed in full football pads, I sit alone in the journalism computer lab, editing copy a few minutes before 9 p. Three hours after football practice, my cleats, untied, remain stuck on my feet and I have barely even made a dent in th New Me It was always, and still is, entertaining to listen to the botched attempts of my teachers to pronounce my last name. Lost in a fusion of languages, I entered the English Language Learners Program where I felt the pressure of always being a step behind those around me. Here are some ways to think about making this transition: "I could not have done it without characteristic y, which has helped me through many other difficult moments," or "this is how I came to appreciate the importance of value z, both in myself and in those around me. I would never have invested so much time learning about the molecular structure or chemical balance of plants if not for taking care of him. Michaela '19 for Johns Hopkins University In this tongue-in-cheek essay in which Michaela writes about Stanley, a beloved cactus, as if "he" has human qualities and is her child, the pivot explains what makes this plant so meaningful to its owner. Without having to "take care of him," Michaela "would never have invested so much time learning" about plant biology. She has a deep affinity for the natural sciences and attributes her interest at least partly to her cactus. By leaving me free to make mistakes and chase wild dreams, my father was always able to help ground me back in reality. Olivia Rabbitt '16 for Connecticut College In Olivia's essay about her father's role in her life, the pivot discusses his importance by explaining his deep impact on her values. Olivia has spent the story part of her essay describing her father's background and their relationship. Now, she is free to show how without his influence, she would not be so strongly committed to "personal responsibilities, priorities and commitments. We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. A great pivot is like great parkour—sharp, fast, and coming on a slightly unexpected curve. Now, let's check out a couple of examples of actual college essay beginnings to show you how and why they work. Sample Intro 1 A blue seventh place athletic ribbon hangs from my mantel. Every day, as I walk into my living room, the award mockingly congratulates me as I smile. Ironically, the blue seventh place ribbon resembles the first place ribbon in color; so, if I just cover up the tip of the seven, I may convince myself that I championed the fourth heat. But, I never dare to wipe away the memory of my seventh place swim; I need that daily reminder of my imperfection. I need that seventh place. Two years ago, I joined the no-cut swim team. That winter, my coach unexpectedly assigned me to swim the freestyle. After stressing for hours about swimming 20 laps in a competition, I mounted the blocks, took my mark, and swam. Around lap 14, I looked around at the other lanes and did not see anyone. However, as I finally completed my race and lifted my arms up in victory to the eager applause of the fans, I looked up at the score board.

Given how unique your child is, writing an interesting college essay has far less to do with what they've specifically experienced or accomplished. Rather, it has good to do with how your child presents themselves. My requests If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends, family members, and child's school. Finally, please contact me if I can ever essay you or give a free introduction which prompt to do for common app essay person or online—at your essay or organization.